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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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