I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
Only 3 things that are infinite 1.Human Stupidity 2.Universe 3.WinRar Trial
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.