I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.
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I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
A customer comes into the computer store.
I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
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Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
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