What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often? They always hit and run.
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.