What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport?
Pool.
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At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?"
The baby bear replied, "No he beats me."
The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear!
The baby bear said, "No she beats me too."
The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"
The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Why is there no mexican olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games?
A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer?
The torturer would apologize first.
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans.
All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."