Joke #4151

What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
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Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
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Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano? His undertaker. Golf
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Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
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Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand. The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "He beats me." The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "She beats me too." So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
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Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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