Joke #4151

What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.

Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."

Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.