Two alpinists on a mountain:
One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one:
Are you hurt?
Noooooo! He hears.
How come?
I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
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Don’t marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill.
It took forever to get to the top.
When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard."
The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A:Because they dribble all over the court.