Two alpinists on a mountain:
One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one:
Are you hurt?
Noooooo! He hears.
How come?
I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
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Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24!
What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
"What do you call it?"
"We call it a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse.
They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon.
I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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