What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer?
The torturer would apologize first.
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Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
Peter goes golfing every Saturday.
One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late.
His wife asks him, "What took you so long?"
Peter says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had.
We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack."
Peter's wife says, "OMG!
That's terrible!"
Peter says, "I know.
Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . ."
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Vote:
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me."
Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Vote:
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
Vote:
Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."