What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer?
The torturer would apologize first.
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A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.
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The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one.
‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’
‘Well,’ says the other.
‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says,
"Oh, forget that nigga."
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