He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
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Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great!
NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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