He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england? A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets. Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there." Bobby: "No probs, Dad." Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."