Joke #4222

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
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A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, hunting, lawyer
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.” The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
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has 76.80 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: death, heaven, lawyer, money
The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers: "What is this?" The first lawyer replies: "It's the $100 I owe you."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, lawyer
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious