Joke #4222

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
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has 77.92 % from 533 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, mexican, money, racist
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
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has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
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has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer