Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church.
Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
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The lawyer’s motto:
a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’
Lawyer: ‘Absolutely.
What’s the other question?’
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down.
The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?"
"I liked her."
"Why did you raped the boy?"
"I liked him."
"Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?"
"I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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