Joke #4229

Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman." The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
Vote: has 79.31 % from 965 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, little Johnny, sex, Thanksgiving
Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle. What's your age? 70. You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
Vote: has 45.27 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, poems, sex, white people
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Vote: has 78.44 % from 2360 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench. The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex. The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?" Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night." The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?" The little girl replied, "I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!"
Vote: has 74.59 % from 292 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Vote: has 86.09 % from 1487 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, math, sex