Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’ Groucho Marx
Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Bill and John, in their 80's decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter. The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed. Bill and John told the Madam that "We are here for the last time". The Madam sent Bill upstairs to the room on the left and John to the room on the right. After an hour Bill and John left the rooms, paid the Madam and left. Bill and John were very quiet until Bill said: "How was yours"? John said, "I think she was dead". John said, "How was yours"? Bill said, "I think she was a witch". John replied, "How did you know she was a witch"? Bill said, "Well I got on top of her, bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window."
Q: How do pirates make their money? A: By hook or by crook!
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.