Joke #4271

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!

Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"

Boy: “I’ve just had the most awful time. First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.” Friend: “Wow! How did you pull through?” Boy: “I don’t know. Toughest spelling test I ever had!”

Mom: What did you do at school today? Mark: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Mark: That’s right!

Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.

One night 4 MBA students were outing till late night and didn`t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the dean. The dean said that this was a special condition test. All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks: Q.1. Write down your name –(2 marks) Q.2. Which tyre burst — (98 marks)