My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
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Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A: Married.
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
Tom was a model husband.
Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
Man: "What you have prepared to eat today?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Man: "But you did nothing yesterday."
Wife : "I made it for two days."
Q: What are the three rings of marriage?
A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
A: Shoot him again.