Joke #4488

What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
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has 58.05 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 32.03 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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has 85.49 % from 578 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Make love, not war. Or if you want to do both – get married!
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has 85.73 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
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has 84.01 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 83.94 % from 910 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife