Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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Similar jokes
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how do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said:
"Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
A: The cost.
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