Joke #4394

Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Vote:
has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How do you blindfold an Asian? With dental floss!
Vote:
has 67.72 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, racist
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
Vote:
has 53.43 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, racist
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
Vote:
has 84.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote:
has 50.63 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
Vote:
has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Vote:
has 29.63 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
Vote:
has 19.25 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: black humor, blonde, death, sex
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
Vote:
has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor