Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise."
So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
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Joke has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew?
A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
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Joke has 48.55 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, jewish, morbid, racist
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
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Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say?,” asked the nurse.
“OOPS!”
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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?"
Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation."
Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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