Joke #4394

Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree? A: Cut the rope.
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
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It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
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After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
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Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
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