Joke #4402

I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped. Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.
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has 25.19 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex

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“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..” The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love. The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan. But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles. She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them. The husband accepted and started waving the fan… After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more! So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
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has 78.96 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex, wife
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
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has 80.65 % from 5705 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, love, sex
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, "Honey what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."
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has 79.36 % from 1288 votes. More jokes about: sex
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
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has 76.53 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
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has 79.23 % from 495 votes. More jokes about: sex
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
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has 76.39 % from 1084 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex