Joke #4404

Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.

Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!

Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.

Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.

A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? Yes, honey, three times. When was the first time? Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you? Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time? Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?