Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
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Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’
Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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