Joke #4448

Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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I came downstairs this morning and my wife asked me what I wanted for breakfast. So I said, ‘Eggs, bacon, fried bread and mushrooms.’ At least that’s what I meant to say. What I actually said was, ‘You’ve ruined my life, you fat ugly witch.’
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Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
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has 84.65 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Chad said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Sherm, "how did you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Chad. "My last word is always 'Yes, Dear.' "
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, wife
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, marriage, wife
Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that?” “Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”
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has 69.97 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, marriage
The man was looking for a way, over and over, for his wife so she can drive more carefully and he found it; "Darling, if an accident happens, the police will record your real age!"
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has 84.12 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, marriage, wife
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
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has 85.59 % from 740 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, husband, marriage, wife
Wife:"There's trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband:"Water in a carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife:"I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor." Husband:"You don't even know what a carburetor is.I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife:"In the pool."
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has 53.83 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger in the house. So I did - the middle one.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage