Joke #3669

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.
Vote: has 86.26 % from 238 votes. Send joke:

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Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 35.20 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, marriage, technology, Valentines day, wife
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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My husband has a split personality – and I hate both of them.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
Vote: has 86.10 % from 1260 votes. Send joke:

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My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
Vote: has 86.49 % from 173 votes. Send joke:

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A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Vote: has 55.63 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Vote: has 86.89 % from 311 votes. Send joke:

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