Joke #2937

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 63.78 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: kids

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He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids
A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."
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has 31.40 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, technology
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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has 85.04 % from 3431 votes. More jokes about: catholic, chocolate, food, god, kids
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card. Sex: F He laughs. Mom: "Whats so funny?" Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it." Husband died laughing.
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has 77.32 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, sex, wife
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 78.23 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."
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has 74.50 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, love