Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!;)
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success."
Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp?
The kids come back.
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