Joke #4484

There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
Misers are lousy to live with, but they make great ancestors.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Vote: has 68.99 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
Vote: has 71.22 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, kids, money
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, Yo mama
What kind of money do marsupials use? Pocket change!
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money