An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’
The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’
‘It is,’ agrees the old man.
‘That’s why I want it lower.’
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Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar.
One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’
‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims.
‘I thought you rolled them on!’
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped.
Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.