Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands.
‘Tell me,’ says one.
‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’
‘No,’ says the other.
‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
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‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex?
A: They're both very rare.
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!