What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it… you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!”
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"