What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.
What's the important part of a horse?
The manr part.
Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.