Joke #1425

Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
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Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
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How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
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A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
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