‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin
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A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church.
He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?"
"Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!"
"Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!"
And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
16 and Pregnant.
15 and Fucking.
14 and Sucking.
13 and Licking.
12 and Fingering.
11 and Touching.
9 and Kissing.
8 and Wondering.
Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
Two old men hobble into the pub.
One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’
‘All right,’ says the other.
‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted.
I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.
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Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning.
The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."
"Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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