A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar.
‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’
‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’
Similar jokes
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Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
A: A case of Schlitz.
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.'
A drunk goes to court.
The judge says, ‘You’ve been brought here for drinking.’
The drunk says, ‘Great.
Let’s get started.’
A rather drunk man was walking along the street one day.
He was staggering quite a bit and made two nuns that were approaching him, very nervous.
The two nuns split apart and one walked to the man's left and one walked to the man's right.
After the nuns were past the man, he turned around and said, "Now how the hell did she do that?"
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you don´t mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
Vote:
He doesn’t drink anything stronger than pop.
Mind you Pop will drink anything.
2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have.
The first one says he'll have H2O.
The second one said he'll have H2O too.
The second one died.