Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
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Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian.
She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.
Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.
There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand.
So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian."
The teacher asks, "So what are you then? "
The girl replies, "I'm an atheist."
The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the girl why she's an atheist.
The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. "
That's no reason." she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
"Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie?
They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
A: Caps and robbers
A woman starts dating a doctor.
Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do.
About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says.
So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "It's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth.
One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."
The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"
The priest replies, "I am your mother, the archbishop is your father."
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut.
The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence.
‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor.
‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague.
‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!;)
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.
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