Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
Similar jokes
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Yo mama so stupid, she went to a garage sale to buy a garage
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Vote:
4-year-old: Why are you my dad?
Me: Because I made you.
4: How?
Me: ...
4: O.o
Me: ...
4: O.O
Me: With Legos.
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie?
Putting the shoes on the flies!
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal’.
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ‘Juan’.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ‘But they are twins.
If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.’
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?"
"First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
Vote:
Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy.
The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?"
And the father answers truthfully:
"These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the sex education class."
Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?"
"This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside.
"What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?"
"This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?"
His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"