The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he can make you curious.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
Vote:
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.