Joke #475

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, school
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
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has 82.05 % from 526 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal