Joke #4548

What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.

Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.

A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."

How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.

Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.

Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)