What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote:
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.
As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him.
He ran as fast as he could.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.
His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran again.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw... brought both paws together... bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."