Joke #541

There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
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A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
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Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
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Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
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What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
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Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
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