There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum kit.
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.