Joke #4574

Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.

Men and women can be friends without any sex involved. It's called marriage.

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.

Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.

The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’

Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.

Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’