I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
What is the fiercest flower in the garden? The tiger lily.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”