Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.
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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen...
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet.
Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world.
Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
Vote:
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.