Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he can make you curious.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”.
The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?”
The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”.
The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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