Joke #6350

Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, dog
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
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has 80.73 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
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has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. "Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, friendship, lawyer
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, mean, stupid
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, nerd