A little boy says, ‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.’ ‘Son,’ says the dad.
‘That happens everywhere.’
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A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Some strangers sit at the bar.
One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."
Another guy asks, "What's that?"
The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy."
Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK."
A lady asks, "What's that?"
He says, "Double Income, No Kids."
The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."
Larry asks, "A WIFE?"
Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Make love, not war.
Or if you want to do both – get married!
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra."
Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!"
Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them.
When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said,
"I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."
The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car."
The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"
She replied,
"Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."
Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist:
"Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse."
The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy."
The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."