My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
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What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
An old football player was dying.
So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?"
Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times:
1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team.
2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times.
3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
Vote:
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name?
Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.