My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
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Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach.
The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error.
Not long enough."
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open.
He asked, "Honey what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight."
The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"