My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.