Joke #4531

My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Vote: has 31.72 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Vote: has 83.91 % from 662 votes. Send joke:

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Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
Vote: has 56.81 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

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What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.
Vote: has 61.51 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

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The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
Vote: has 53.61 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

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3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
Vote: has 76.59 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
Vote: has 45.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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