Joke #4651

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they take away your credit card.

William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'

Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting

Q: Why do Jews have so big noses? A: Because the air is free.

In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.

Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!

Last year I told the kids there was no Father Christmas, this year I’m telling the wife.

Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.