It’s the morning after the honeymoon.
The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’
The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
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Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex?
A: Two of his fingers are clean.
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
Answer: No!
Response: Wanna go to a party?
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A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.
He says, "What's your name?"
She says, "Carmen."
He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"
She says, "No, I named myself."
He says, "Why Carmen?"
She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"
He says, "Beerfuck."
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin
A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream.
He asked his wife if she wants some.
"How hard is it?" she asked.
"About as hard as my dick," he replies.
To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?