Joke #4653

It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then," he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."
Vote: has 79.70 % from 464 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, marriage, sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote: has 68.37 % from 335 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
Vote: has 78.09 % from 891 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
Vote: has 67.55 % from 428 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, black people, sex, work
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote: has 67.56 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
Vote: has 33.40 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote: has 70.36 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Vote: has 52.59 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Vote: has 77.00 % from 958 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex