Joke #4710

Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT

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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: health, IT, medical, money, time
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
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has 15.58 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: car, geek, IT, mechanic, programmer
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
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has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: desert island, IT, time
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
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has 75.47 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, programmer
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: IT