Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
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What's an extroverted IT professional?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning.
A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' …
So I took the bike"
The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference.
And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice."
So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week."
Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced, "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. And the worse news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week."
Bill Gates called all of his programmers, marketing experts and administrators together and announced, "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
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