The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Only 3 things that are infinite 1.Human Stupidity 2.Universe 3.WinRar Trial
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
What do computers do when they get hungry? They eat chips!
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"