Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy." The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.