Joke #6912

The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"

What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!

What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.

‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’

What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.

You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."

What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.