The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A: A shadow.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...