How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Why are rabbits never gold?
How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
You hold his nose!
What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
