Joke #4717

What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
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has 55.29 % from 387 votes. More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong. He puts his other club away, and grabs a 9-iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked! He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood." The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000,black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom - tons of cash come sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures, Why not? After all the frog did for him, it is a small price to pay. With the kiss, however, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
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has 84.62 % from 308 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, golf, women, work
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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has 46.28 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food