Joke #4717

What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
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Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
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What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
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Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
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