What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my fodder in there?"
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
Yo Momma is so fat…
That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage.
Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.
Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days.
Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.
As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist.
One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
The tiger lily.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.