Joke #4729

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
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has 79.36 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: school

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Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69's a mouthful.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” Boy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
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has 75.52 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, memory, school
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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has 85.16 % from 1043 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
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has 62.08 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: history, math, school
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: school