Joke #4732

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
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Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 997 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
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Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
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Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
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‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
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A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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