Joke #4777

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...

What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.

What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.

What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.

Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.

Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"