An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.