An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can make you curious.