Joke #6893

A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"

What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They re both brown, except the snowball.

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.

That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.

"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.